Leadership Building Skills for Business Owners and Executives: Skill One

As I begin working with people in my executive coaching program, we start with a module on leadership development with four leadership building skills. This module develops skills that allow access to powerful leadership that is fundamental to all leaders who have had significant success.

These four skills redirect a person’s perspective about what it means to be the source of innovation and influence.

Are you a source of inspiration for others? Are you a source of influence?  Can you answer the big why for others so that they are excited by what you share with them?  Will they support you? Will they participate in your vision with you?

To be able to answer these questions with a resounding, “Yes!” one must become skilled at the following four skills:

1. Shed restricting beliefs and embrace empowering beliefs
2. Clarify your vision of the future
3. Learn to tell your story so that others are inspired to get involved
4. Request participation as an invitation not an expectation

Skill number one: Shed Restricting Beliefs and Embrace Empowering Beliefs

One must first get rid of any beliefs of fear, feelings of inadequacy or resignation about what is possible. Then when one is able to embody an authentic belief or possibility, they do so with an authentic conviction that motivates others.

The axiom that applies is.

“You can have anything that you create as a possibility and enroll others in you having gotten.” ~Landmark

You enroll others by touching, moving or inspiring them.

A good indicator is to be able to tell your story.  Where are you at and where are you going, and are you unflinchingly passionate about it?  Are you unaffected by what did not work out in the past? Does it no longer hold over you a feeling of loss or inadequacy?  If it does, then you must work on letting go of those beliefs that are holding you back.

Many people I have spoken to are not ready to tell the story of what they want to do with their lives or what their big goals are.  They are stuck in the impossibility of what they see and are not able to recognize opportunities as they show up.   They walk along reliving their past into their future and basically continue with what they have always done with very little change.

That mishap in a business venture that cost them a lot; the boss who criticized them for not having the talent to take on a particular responsibility, the failed marriage or perhaps the constant conditioning of a position that offered no advancement and little control over their direction, are all examples of experiences that can create a limited belief.  One then is not inclined to venture into another situation that seems similar, because the common element, which many people believe is the main cause of these situations, is themselves.   A person thinking like this may say, “Well that may work for others but that doesn’t work for me.” Or “It is not possible because I tried and it just does not work that way.” They then rely on others to make decisions for them. Security in a job is often sought out. A person then gives up on their own capabilities in mapping out what is possible for their lives.

However, for a leader this is not the case.  Leaders understand that the mistakes in the past are a measure of many factors including their skill at the time. It is NOT a measure of their self-worth. They know this beyond the circumstance and know that difficulties and failures along the way are a part of the game.

They understand that to be a leader they must be able to shed old thinking and open themselves up to possibilities that are at that the core of their being.  Leaders reach deep into that possibility to generate themselves as if it has already happened.  As long as they are in the driver’s seat to keep moving to that which fulfills this future identity, they do not care what happens.   For the successes and failures that they experience are all a part of the process.  And they have learned how to continually regenerate their future self for themselves now. They see it, feel it and love it.  The journey then is not full of trepidation and chaos but adventures to be told.  For they already have arrived at the feeling and embodiment of the success that will happen. This is the source of real power.

The skill then is to practice regularly generating your own feelings of gratitude, acceptance, success and happiness, despite a perception of current circumstances that may say otherwise.   The classic approach glass half full optimism does more than just make someone congenial, it also opens up a person physiology to allow access to awareness that is just not available when one is in a fearful or negative state.   Intuition, ingenuity and empathy become prevalent in a person’s life as their mind starts working for them not against them.  Therefore it is important to practice generating good feelings and your dreams will become reality.   Let go, of being upset or combating with yourself or others. Regenerate your positive feelings. Continually do this as a habit.  What has happened or what is happening, simply is.  You are in complete control of how you interpret it.

If this is true why not spend the time with your thoughts and emotions that generate a feeling of forgiveness, well being and accomplishment.   Your mind is the most powerful thing you possess and when it works for your future, for your success and connection with others, you will be progressively getting better at letting things go that are not constructive for your dreams and well being.

As you practice it is important to have a goal as to what you can identify.  Many people I have known have tried to be virtuous for the sake of being virtuous. However our minds do not work that way. We want a goal, something to believe in.  Believing in the future is a very powerful aspect of being able to let go of the current conditions, especially if it involves a situation that embodies your emotional content.   Build it in your mind first, this is the next skill.  To view it please go to the blog for skill two.